Andrew Luck’s Magical Beard

The beard, in all its straggly glory, is a thing of infamy. Andrew Luck’s beard is so famous not only does it have its own commercial, thanks DirectTV, but it also got mentioned in the NFL Top 100 Players of 2015.

Pat McAfee said, “He has a top five beard on planet Earth.” Other football players have varying opinions of his beard. Jarvis Landry (Dolphins WR) called it “unusual.” But said, “if he can get away with it, then cool.”

Way back in 2011, while he was still throwing for Stanford, the beard was getting attention. Here’s how he says it starts: “I got lazy after finals,” he said. “I didn’t shave and my mom didn’t say anything to me when I got home … I figured, why not try it? I don’t have to be presentable in college. That’s a rule, right?”

His beard became such a staple of the Colts and the 2014 season, it was news when he finally shaved it off. Actual news.

Let’s watch the beard as it progresses over last year’s season to try and truly understand the magic, and magnificence.

Here he is in the season opener against the Broncos of 2014. At this point, the hairs on the neck haven’t gotten confused with the hairs on his face yet. There’s a clear delineation between chin and neck.

Roughly a month later when the Colts played the Ravens in 2014, the beard is starting its more odd growth that is both lower, and higher, on his face than most other beards. He might just be getting cold in Indianapolis.


In week 11 of the 2014 season, after the loss to the Patriots, the beard is starting to look like a confederate general’s facial hair. But on the upside, when the Colts play the patriots this season, there will be no fear of communications being broken. The things that live in the beard could give him all the plays.

In the last game of the season, we started to see the beard appear as a shadow. Somehow both above and below the helmet line. It’s a bit like a small tangled, bush of hair. We can only assume when he uses conditioner his beard goes down to his knees.

Here’s the beard at it’s best, during the playoffs last season. At this point, he’s the only QB that can do a bootleg by hiding the ball in his beard. And Amish folks are offering him the reins to drive their horse and buggy for them. All in all, it’s impressive facial hair, maybe because it seems sentient. Or maybe because it makes him seem down to earth. Or perhaps for it inexplicable ability to stay largely on his neck. Possibly his car doesn’t have enough trunk space and he uses his beard as under-neck storage.

Now, it’s not like football players look like gentle swans with long, graceful necks, but the beard does give him a true caveman appearance. Eventually it might connect all the way from the top of his head to his chest hair. At that point he would become the true paragon of football.

Because of the mossy brambles of Luck’s neck beard, it’s understandable where the criticism comes from. But, in the end, it’s his beard. We’re here to support that beard. No matter the shape, size, scruffiness, and possibility of it eating our fingers if we venture too close.

If you want to come watch the infamous quarterback’s beard live and in person. You can buy Colts tickets to see him play in Lucas Oil Stadium.

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